


Not So Alone After All

by InesStarkDowney



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Light Angst, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:39:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11541894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InesStarkDowney/pseuds/InesStarkDowney
Summary: Tony is still finding it hard to live in a house that used to be loud and full. He's okay and he has moved on from the hurt that the Avengers have caused, but he has yet to adapt to this less crowded life.But Natasha is there. And that's a start.





	Not So Alone After All

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably one of the last angsty things I will write before Infinity War comes out and destroys my life. I've seen Homecoming recently and it showed me that Tony is happy and healthy and I would like to focus on that side of things. Besides, how could he not be happy with Peter in his life? 
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy!

Tony slumped into the kitchen, silent as the house, not really knowing what to do. Everything was silent. It was disturbing, but this silence was slowly becoming a friend. Somehow it meant a new sort of peace Tony didn't long for.

At first he believed it would be better to stay haunted with demons he couldn't control and not be alone. Now he didn't know anymore. Maybe something good would come out of all of this. Tony didn't know when that good would come but he was optimistic. He was trying to be.

The silence made it harder.

Tony sighed and opened a cabinet, looking at empty glasses. He thought for a second to pull them all and let them fall and break. Make some sound. Loud. Maybe some voices could come with it and wake him up from this sort of nightmare. There were no monsters but still... It was a nightmare. Kinda. Whatever. He was tired. Tony was just tired, really.

"You should go to bed and sleep."

Tony closed the cabinet and looked at Natasha standing there, short hair again, pj's and arms crossed. Cocking his head, Tony arched his eyebrow trying to figure her out.

When she came back Tony wasn't mad that she had been gone in the first place. Tony didn't care by then. It had been months. By then all that mattered was Rhodey and how he could still make Tony smile at the end of the day or the little visits that Peter made that seemed to lighten up the whole compound as if they were back in the old days. By then the people that had been gone, were gone for good. Learning. Tony had been learning. It was called moving on, even if slowly.

But Nat, after all, he couldn't figure out why she had come back. She had always been a mystery, one he tried to crack at every second of the day. Now Tony was too tired for that. Life wasn't made of little games anymore. This wasn't a game anymore.

"I will go to bed. Just... Not now."

"Hmm... You need to sleep. Come on."

"I have been sleeping. You've seen me go to bed every night."

"Going to bed doesn't mean you will go to sleep."

Tony's eyes widened at her words, but she stayed the same porcelain doll. Nothing ever went through her, did it? That's how she managed to do what she- No. No. He wasn't going back there. That time was gone. Bad memories stuck in some box he didn't want to open anymore. Tony was sick of it.

(But he swam in those bad memories every night. That's why. That's why.)

Nat somehow knew falling into that bed just made things worse. There was nothing to do but overthink, overanalyse what was and what could have been. Every mistake Tony had made along the way that brought him here with the silence and the tiredness.

Or maybe she was just fishing for something and she got what she came for. Damnit.

"Yeah, well... It's not easy."

"I know, that's why I'm here."

Nat's voice was so soft. Had it all been like this? Like a friend trying to help him out, saving him from something he had drown into long ago?

Something told him that no, it hadn't been like this. But Tony had been blind then, blind by love (unconditional love), so he would never be sure again. This was what he got and he had to work with it.

He wanted so bad to fall into her and let her help him in whatever it was happening. She knew better than anyone, so she could help, couldn't she?

"So, come with me to bed, Tony."

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why are you doing this?"

Natasha sighed and closed her eyes for a few seconds. Were there bad memories too? Did the reasons burnt? Were they too harsh, too you did this, now deal with the consequences, with the pain of knowing what you did? Were they? Were they?!

The screaming stopped inside Tony's head and he just looked at his friend, yes, his friend, the one he missed terribly in the first months of pain. She used to make it all slightly better. She was trying to do the same again, Tony was sure.

Natasha looked back at him, finally, and there was this little girl in her eyes Tony had never seen. Natalia Alianovna Romanova in the purest way. If Tony was strong enough he would have hugged her because she needed it as well. But he couldn't. There was only so much he could do after all.

"Because... Because I know what we were before all of this happened, and I realized what I did despite all of it, how I lied, I omitted. I know I left when I shouldn't. I was scared. I was running with a gun in my hand, the targets were blurry and I just shot at random. I saved people. But not all of them." Not all of them. Not Tony. "I am here to remedy that. Well... As much as I can. I'm here for you. Because I love you."

Both stared at each other, Natasha giving all she could to Tony and Tony just eating every word raw and whole. It felt different. Mistakes were not apologised for. They were being made up for. It was a change for once. After all, Natasha was not St-

Stop. Don't go there.

Tony nodded and put his hands deep in his sweatpants pockets, managing a relaxed smile, because the silence wasn't that unbearable anymore. He wasn't alone in it. He had a friend.

"Okay."

Natasha quickly smiled a bright smile only in Natasha's way. As if everything was completely fine for a couple of seconds. Something like moving on. Slowly. Gently. But there. It was there.

"Come on, Shellhead." Natasha extended her hand and despite the nickname that seemed to burn a hole right through Tony's heart, Tony held on to her. It came from a different set of lips. Maybe this time it wouldn’t end in tragedy and so was I.

Falling asleep that night wasn't swimming in a dark ocean where Tony had no feet and was being pulled down by the bad. It was a gentle, Russian lullaby and the knowledge that tomorrow would be easier.

Now it was Rhodey and how he made Tony smile; Peter and his youthful spirit that caught onto Tony's heart; Natasha's safe haven.


End file.
